My “reviews” are pretty much me doing a scene by scene run through of the movie which is sometimes long and sometimes short depending on, well depending on if it’s a bag of shit, semi decent or good – you get the point. These “reviews” fall onto the page pretty much how the words would fall from my mouth. It’s not pretty but hopefully its entertaining and if it’s gets at least one chuckle of a smile then I’ve achieved what I set out to do here.
In a nut shell Sucker Punch is the tale of Babydoll played by Emily Browning who after the loss of her mother accidentally kills her sister while protecting her from their sweaty rape monster of a Stepfather played by Gerard Plunkett who has her committed to a Insane Asylum. We follow Babydoll and three other women Rocket played by Jena Malone, Sweet Pea played by Abbie Cornish, Amber played by Jamie Chung and Blondie played by Vanessa Hudgens as they plan to escape. The quest takes the girls through a series of bizarre fantasy sequences as they collect the items they need to break free before the High Roller played by Jon Hamm arrives to claim Babydoll all under the watchful eyes of Blue played by Oscar Isaac and his staff. The girls are assisted along the way by Dr. Gorski played by Carla Gugino and the Wise Man played by Scott Glenn. Will they get out??
Now are you ready to dive face first into the dance of insanity (or is it) that is Sucker Punch? Strap in your eye balls and engage the “what the fuck” nugget in your brain because you my friends are about to have your minds blown!! Seriously if you don’t have a single WTF moment watching this then you are dead inside. Truly dead. Like flatline-in-a-body bag-tag-on-the-toe-dead.
The movie opens with the death of Baby’s mother and we she her struggle to protect her sister from their violent step father this builds to a head and we see Baby shoot at him while trying to save her sister but the bullet misses the man and she accidentally killers her sister. Fleeing the scene she is taken into custody at the mother grave.
Sensing an opportunity to get rid of her her step father commits Baby to Lennox House – a institution for criminally insane women, at least that’s what I’m assuming as all the “inmates” are women and none of them seem to be “insane” as you would normally picture in your minds eye.
She is taken to the theatre to be assessed and it is a theatre with a stage and everything. It’s explained that Doctor Gorski uses the space to help the girls. Baby is being checked out by 3 other women while her step father concludes a transaction with the man who greeted them when they entered! Yep the sleezy arsehole has sold his step daughter to this, now seemingly shady, institution.
There is a girl sat on a bed on the stage. She turns to the camera while Doctor G tells her to listen to the music and that she is in a safe place and to just let go.
Fucker it turns out the step father wants baby to have a lobotomy!! What a cockwomble!
I know what your thinking – hey, Viking your said this was gonna get my face wet with insanity!!! This shit is pretty average so far. WTF dude! – stick with me it’s coming…..
Now at this point in the movie we have been given 3 visual keys. Don’t worry if you missed them I know I switch off when I watch a movie and default into a more let’s ride this bitch and see where we go kinda mentality. We go through a montage of Baby being in therapy session with the doctor while a version of Where is My Mind by the Pixies plays. The montage ends with baby in a chair about to have a big fuck off spike smashed into her brain via her eye socket. OK now what the fuck is that shit? Yeah a lobotomy I know but fuuuuuuuuck!
As the spike draws close and is about to be struck she calls out stop! BOOM! we are on the stage and it’s not baby in the chair but Sweet Pea and she ain’t happy about this “show”. Out in what has now become the lounge of a 50’s club is Baby, her stepfather and the nurse, Blue, from the beginning who was doing the shady deal with dad!! He now looks like a club manager and step dad is a priest. He, Blue, explains that the High roller is coming and he wants Sweet Pea to show Baby around. Again not happy Sweet Pea palms Baby off on Rocket – her sister. Rocket explains the club is a front for Blue’s nefarious businesses.
The girls are warming up for rehearsal and we get introduced to Amber and Blondie. Baby is told that everyone gets a dance and that they are for the men who come to the club to watch.
Now I know you read the last few bits and went wait what the fuck is going on? The dad is a priest and we are in a 50s club lounge?? Yeah we’ll you didn’t get it wrong. We are taking another step towards the wet side of crazy that is this movie.
In the kitchen Rocket is caught stealing some chocolate and Baby rescues her from the huge cook who would have no doubt done something to her with grease – bork!
We are back to the rehearsal room and Doc G picks Babydoll to dance while the girl, blue and another gent watch. The music plays and after a failed attempt Babydoll drifts away while Bjorks Army of One plays and in one slow blink of a transition we are transported to a Japanese courtyard with a temple/dojo at one end and its snowing!
OK now pause for one second. Now I know your doing a WTF face right now. I can see it! OK, OK let carry on – hit play!
Babydoll walks up the temple steps and enters the temple. Its light by candles and holy fuck does this place look amazing, there is a dude in Japanese priests robes who bollocks Baby for not taking her shoes off. He hits her with some cryptic shit about what she is looking for and tells her he will help be free and then gives Babydoll a Katana and gun. He tells he she will need 5 items a map, fire, a knife and a key the 5th item is a mystery. Cheers you fucking cryptic motherfucker. Oh and one more thing – defend yourself!!
Yeah you ain’t seeing things that’s 3 GIANT samurai demon monster things!! Now let’s get into one of my fave scenes from this movie!! I’ll drop the link below if you wanna watch it but its fucking epic! Not epic in scale but in the sheer visual eye fest that it is!
We are about a third of the way through as Babydoll is back from tripping balls and snaps back to everyone clapping her performance! Sweet Pea is not impressed and that night Babydoll tells the girls she is planning to escape. Sweet Pea warns everyone that it is a bad idea and the last 3 girls that tried it ended up dead. Cut to rehearsal dressing room and Rocket talks Sweet Pea into helping with the escape by telling her that Baby saved her from the cook. Babydoll tells the girls what they need – the map, key, fire and knife – and that they have 3 days before the High roller comes. We get some cuts of where the items are and those of you who are more observant will have spotted these aaaaaaaages ago lol. Sweet Pea and the rest are in!! Fuck yeah! Just like the A-Team our heroines swing into action by first stealing the map but in order to do this Blue need distracting and Babydoll is back dancing and this time we get transported to a WW1 battlefield. All the girls are here and wouldn’t you know the dungeon master guy from the temple is here as a army officer. The girls mission is to get the map from the Germans!! But not just any Germans noooo that would be too easy these Germans are reanimated dead powered by steam!!
Told you this would get weird! This entire movie must have been written on one stupidly massive dose toad coated in LSD followed by a shot of mushrooms!
It doesn’t end there as Amber gets a Mech, yeah a big fuck you mech suit loaded with guns!
“Remember ladies if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything!”
Our combat team takes it to Jerry with much skill and violence! I can’t get across how enjoyable these “trips” are to watch! I may drop this scene here too if I remember.
Back to the club Doc G and Blue argue over Baby being ready to preform. Now with the map secure the girls plan to aquire the next item for escape – fire.
Back to Baby on stage while Amber pick pockets the fat man’s lighter. And in a blink we are in a bomber circling a castle that is under seige! Under seige by fucking orcs! The mission is to retrieve the fire inside the castle! And now we get another visceral eye fest and the team fight their way inside guns blazing and swords flashing. Mopping up inside the girls find the what they came for – a young dragon – in order to get the fire Baby has to kill it which angers the mother! Fuck you says the massive dragon, fuck you with a stick with some poo on the end of it! Evac! Eject!! Danger, danger, danger!! The dragon goes ape shit but it doesn’t stop super woman Babydoll stabbing the fucker right in the dome!
Back in the room! Fire secured the girls celebrate. Blue enters and reaffirms his rule of the institution by give the girls shit and roughing them up a little! He let’s them know something is up but he doesn’t know what. Not to be knocked off mission Baby wants to carry on but Sweet Pea wants out and trys to get Rocket to go with her. Refusing Rocket says she wants to escape still and Sweet Pea storms off. Blondie is crying outside Doc G’s room and they have a heart to heart – the girls may be in trouble.
Back in Sweet Pea locks the cook into the kitchen so Baby can preform and they can steal the knife. Our trip down the rabbit hole takes us to the far future and the lasses have to do a heist on a moving train guarded by robots!! The mission disarm a bomb on the train. Dropped from a chopper the girls fight their way though the train pressed by the time limit ticking on the bomb. Que the close quarters slow mo gals and guns fight scene. I swear these dream sequences are giving my eyes diabetes! Bomb deactivated the girls escape but desaster strikes and Rocket is killed protecting her sister as the cook comes out of the trance Baby’s dancing put him in long enough to realise something was going on and stabs Rocket. Blues breaks the door down and forces Baby to dance as the Highroller has arrived!
Blue gives a speech of how he is the good guy by giving the girls all these things and they have betrayed him! Doc G trys to stand up to him and he pulls a gun on her causing Blondie to confess it was her who tipped Blue off! What a twat! Blue then executes buth Blondie and Amber to prove a point! Forcing the girls out Blue is left alone with Baby and he attacks her causing Baby to stab him and steal his key. Breaking Sweet Pea out out the utility cupboard and setting fire to it they make their way through the halls to the door. And escape once the fire alarm unlocks the gate. The high roller is outside! So close and yet so far. Baby realises she is the final component needed for the escape and tells Sweet Pea she is going to sacrifice herself so she can get away!!
Knocked unconscious Baby awakens in a room with the High Roller. He starts giving his monologue about being free and the meanings of freedom while rolling up his sleeves and his assistants saunter off to out of shot. They kiss……… BANG! The hammer hits the spike and there is a flash of scenes taking us back to the start of the movie. It is revealed that the High Roller is the doctor who has just preformed the lobotomy. Doc G comes in and explains that Baby started a fire and helped another inmate to escape. The High Roller – lets just keep calling him that – is freaked out by what he say in Babydolls eyes right as the hammer struck. Confused Doc G is asking why Baby is here and why the lobotomy was done!
While being escorted back to her room Baby and is met by Blue nursing a stab wound. Wanting his revenge he arranges to be left in a room with her. He kisses her but becomes gets angry Baby isn’t the same. We fuck stain she wouldn’t be would she? She just had a spike driven through her eye socket and into her brain making her a vegetable!
As his tantrum escalates the cops bust in and arrest Blue. It turns out he forged Gorski’s signature to have the lobotomy done as part of his shady arrangement with Baby’s stepdad.
Cut to Sweet Pea boarding a bus to FREEDOM! Shit its the cops and they want a word! God damn rozzers always fucking up peoples shit. But hold up!! Who is this coming to the rescue? Its the bus driver and fuck me it’s the Wise Man for Baby’s fantasy dreams! He covers for Sweet Pea telling the cops she had been on the bus for a while now and only got off to use the bathroom. Falling for this the police leave and Sweet Pea is finally free!!
I give this movie a score of 8.5/10
Well Jesus where do I begin with that? Maybe a few details?? Yeah, cool. Ok so Sucker Punch was released in 2011 and ended up grossing a cool $89.792 million worldwide. It didn’t receive good ratings on the usual sites – IMDB and RT. Zack Synder directing and co-writer this was his first foray into something of an original concept and it was described, by Snyder himself, as Alice in Wonderland with machine guns. I’d say it is a little more than that – the movie trips balls deep with a very, very dark sub context. I’m pretty sure it covers a bunch of like stuff inner strength and sacrifice but I’m in it for the action and the dream sequences which are amazing in both design and execution. A special effects roller coaster of a movie. Kinetic action with slow-mo used in all the right places! This film truly draws inspiration from everything going and I love it for doing that! I didn’t feel the acting was wooden or forced at any stage either. Yes it looks like a schoolgirl perv fest at first glance but it really isn’t – have a What The Fuck moment and then bare with it as you will be missing out on a great movie otherwise. A special note needs to be made for the soundtrack on this movie – they nailed it with tracks from Bjork, Annie Lennox, Queen and Skunk Anansie. You can find a full list of the music here – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0978764/soundtrack.
“By Odin’s beard get this movie in your eyes!”
Well that’s me done for now. Thanks for taking the time to have a read. Later guys! Links below for the usual movie rating sites